


A Place to Be

by frenchposie



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cold, F/M, Fever, Flu, Mary Sue, Not Canon Compliant, Romance, Sick!Bashier, Sick!Odo, Sickfic, Sneezing, Totally Alternate Universe, Tragic Romance, past mistakes, sneezefic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:00:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3996379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchposie/pseuds/frenchposie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goofy as all get out - but when I was in my early-mid teens I used to imagine this character - Veronica Savoak - half human / half vulcan, who served on-board the USS Enterprise under Kirk, Picard, and then transferred to DS9.  After 20 years, I'd forgotten about her, until she came back to life in my head.  I wanted to get the stories out, even though now she only served under Kirk, Sulu, random people, and then winds up on DS9 at the start of the Dominion War.  </p>
<p>These stories are not in any way canon.  They are just my own Mary Sue (ish) ramblings, about what I think would happen to someone who lived so long without bodies like a Trill.  This is about my own character, Veronica Savoak, as she searches for a place to belong, and a place to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Away from the Academy

The air inside the runabout was just this side of not stale, although the regeneration filters had improved over the years.  Dressed in the dark gray uniform of the new Federation – the one at war with the Dominion – the one who couldn’t keep straight who were their enemy and who was their alley and would sell anyone out at the slightest provocation.  Threats of changlings on Earth had gotten her out of the classroom and back into training. 

She had been a science officer for many years, trained at the Vulcan Science Academy.  Once upon a time, she even had the great honor of being one of Professor Sarak’s students in a debate class regarding Ethics and Logic. 

A hand brushed her more wavy than curly brown hair behind her ear, slightly brushing the tip of her own ear as she did so.  A smile graced her lips, as she thought about the long and sorted past that she had over the years.  Her first two assignments had been on starships.  She took a long reprieve back on Vulcan, enjoying the scenery and learning how to school her expressions the way they did.  The stigma of being a half-blood was waning over the past century, but it was still there.  Their politeness was feigned, and after a time she realized that her time to be like them had passed.  She was who she was.  She had chosen to be like her human father, rather than her Vulcan mother.  Others had a similar choice.  Hers was not the popular one to go by.

Luckily, she was welcomed into Starfleet Academy as faculty.  Slowly her classes went from being relevant to becoming history.  It was no matter.  Teaching the younger generations brought her great joy.  She wondered how many of her future colleagues were once her students, and if they would remember her.   She sighed inwardly as she wondered which she wanted less – them to recall her, or to be forgotten to history like so many others that she once knew.

She jolted uncomfortably as the runabout docked at Deep Space Nine.  It was the first time she was stationed on a space station, rather than a starship.  She hadn’t been in space – or even on a long term space voyage – in over two years.  Granted space travel had become much more comfortable since her first voyage to Earth as a young lady.  She looked down at the gold accented uniform that she was wearing, and wondered how long it would take before she worked to get back into a blue, or teal as was currently the standard issue, uniform.

She never would have considered herself to be a security officer.  Those from any of her starships would likely have thought she had made a mistake.  Sometimes she wondered if she had as well.  Certainly, she could fire a phaser and puzzle out problems.  She could network and make connections, and her longer than human lifespan had served her well in gaining at least some respect, and from that answers when she needed them.  But, that was all she was for this assignment.  An investigator.  Should someone need chasing down, she was certain that this gold accented uniform would be short lived.  Perhaps that was when she would ask to be put back into her science colors.  Her heart warmed, as her eyes crinkled when she fondly thought of the lifetime that she had spent in that uniform.  She wondered if respect for a once relevant half-blood would keep her in that uniform, or if she would be recalled to Earth, to continue her teaching position.  She had learned to love her _History of Human Medicine_ and _200 Years of Interstellar Scientific Discovery_ classes.  Certainly, they were only elective courses, but they were worth something to someone.  At least that’s what she told herself.

Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she hoped that the curls would not deter the Captain of the space station from believing that she was professional.  Once upon a time it was acceptable for women to let their hair fall loose around their shoulders.  During those days, the outfits were also more form fitting and quite a bit shorter.   She raised her eyebrows in a quick memory of how incestuous the starships used to be.  Then it became less and less appropriate as the uniforms became more unisex.  Old fashioned as it was, she sort of missed the old days.  She knew what was expected of her then.  Those days had long since passed.  Maybe if she were lucky she could tell the stories over a bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage, as people tried to guess her age.  It was an old game, but everyone always enjoyed it until the fun wore off.  Then she’d go back to the solitary life that she had become so used to. 

Her holochips were in her bag.  A station such as this should have a decent holodeck, she  hoped.  It was the only time she could see her old friends.  It was always just one more time… but in the end it was never enough.  If she could go back, she would relieve it again.  Maybe even tonight.

Stepping out of the runabout, she was careful to know where she was stepping, and balance herself on her hips perfectly.  She relaxed her features, and schooled her face like she had learned on Vulcan.  “Captain Sisko,” she greeted the large dark skinned man, with the right number of pips and the proper colored uniform, who was waiting with a Bajoran female and two officers in blue.  If he wasn’t the Captain of the station, she couldn’t imagine who he would be.  She nodded her head forward in respect, then tilted it towards his staff.

“Professor Savoak.  It is good to see you again,” he responded, his low voice reminding her of why his name was so familiar.

“It’s good to see you, too,” she replied.  Brown eyes closed slowly as she recalled a much younger version of him what she had said.  “You’ve come a long way since studying history in my class.”

He smiled at her.  “Professor Savoak, was faculty at the academy when I went through.  She taught the history of science electives,” he said, which such enthusiasm, that she couldn’t help but let her smile show though.

A small gasp emanated from the Bajoran female.

Relaxing her features at once.  “I apologize.  I’m sure my display of emotions is quite shocking.”  With the ease of practiced fingers, she pulled her hair over the tips of her ears.  “It might be easiest to think of me as simply human.” 

Her eyes flitted to the handsome man in the science uniform.  “But if I start bleeding, please tell your doctor to pick the green blood, not red,” she joked, smiling just a bit.

The assembled officers smiled a bit, and fidgeted as they got used to her familiarity.  That certainly was not the impression that she had wanted to make.  However, since it was at the Captain’s discretion, she wasn’t about to deny him the right of familiarity.  She was his teacher once upon a time, but he was her commanding officer now, and she wouldn’t do anything to embarrass him.

“I’ll try to remember that,” the tall brown-haired man answered. 

Her eyebrow twitched as she tried not to raise it at his peculiarly British accent.  She always liked a man with an accent.

“My name is Jadzia Dax,” the other officer in blue said.   Veronica immediately recognized her as a trill, due to her spots running down the side of her face and neck.  She knew all too well how far down those spots went.  Vulcan or no, she had lived all of her two hundred plus years… although the last fifty or so had become lack luster.  While she didn’t agree with the political ties of Spock, her friend of days past, she understood why he went looking for something to make him feel inside.  Yes, even the green blooded Vulcan, as Dr. McCoy had told him had feelings.  Deep ones.  Meaningful ones.  But, he wrapped his around logic, loyalty, and purpose.  While she wrapped hers around humor and the pursuit of knowledge – though not always in that order.

Eyes flitted to her collar, “Commander Dax,” she said with a respectful nod.

“Jadzia, please,” the spotted officer responded.  “And since our Captain has seemed to forgotten, this is First Officer Kira Nerys and Station’s Doctor Julien Bashier.”

They both nodded at her respectfully, and Veronica returned the respect. 

“I’ll show you to your quarters, and then I’ll introduce you to Security Chief Odo,” Jadzia offered politely.

“I’d be honored,” Veronica returned, sincerely. 

“You’ll like her, old man,” the Captain said as they were walking off. “She has stories like yours,” the Captain said as they walked off.

Veronica watched as Jadzia smiled, her eyes shining with something akin to amusement.  “Old man?” she asked, quietly as they rounded the corner.

“Just a nickname,” Jadzia responded, hands clasped firmly behind her back. 

 Humans and their puzzles.  It was like growing up on Vulcan.  Always a logic puzzle to figure out, some puzzle to solve.  Something to follow logically from point A to point B.  She was able to discern it, but if there was anything that she had learned over the years it was that humans hated when you pointed out the obvious.  She would allow the young woman to tell her the story in her own time.

“And what about you?  Stories?” Jadzia continued conversationally after a pause.

Veronica debated being as elusive as Jadzia had been, but in honesty she wanted to get off on the right foot with her new crew.  She knew it would all come to a screaming halt soon enough.  The fact of the matter was that over the years, Veronica had become lonely and actively sought company, even if she had long since given up on non-holographic friendship or companionship.  Once people knew her past, they rarely wanted to get to know her.  Once the novelty of her past wore off… well… she had been down this road before.  “I served aboard the USS Enterprise for several years,” she answered.  Her heart jumped, and she longed to recapture the old days.  She would ask about holo-suite capabilities soon enough. 

“Fantastic!” Jadzia responded, enthusiastically.  “Chief O’Brian Commander Worf also served onboard the Enterprise.”

Those names were unfamiliar to her, and Veronica wondered which Enterprise that they had served on, because it certainly wasn’t hers.  “NCC-1701 and NCC-1701A,” she clarified.

Jazdia drew a quick intake of breath through her nose before turning towards her.  “You served under James T. Kirk?”  Her smile grew at the thought.  But, it was not the typical smile that Veronica had grown used to.  This one was more sophisticated and mischievous than the typical star struck look that she had become accustomed.  

Maybe her future wouldn’t repeat her past after all.

“One in the same.  And, I do have plenty of stories.”


	2. Different Than the Last Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica tells stories of days long past, but the crew of DS9 do not respond as she is used to, and it causes her to respond in ways she has never had to before.

Ten Forward… no it wasn’t Ten Forward anymore.   _Quarks_ …  a bar that was just that – a bar.  No pretense to falter, the fact of the matter was that this was a bar, on a space station, that the Federation just happened to command.  _Quarks_ was alight with the sounds of mechanical games and people cheering.  It was all so loud to her ears, even her aged ears that had begun to lose their ability to hear the high pitched frequencies of the machines around her.  But, just like Ten Forward before it, this bar was where the officers gathered to decompress after work.  The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. That was for certain.

As it was, she was lost in a sea of memories, as those around her laughed heartily at the stories that she brought.  Memories of a time long dead, and people – most as dead as the time.  She checked the chrono again.  More than an hour until her slotted time in the holosuite.  The Ferangi bartender had been more than accommodating in getting her program up and running.  He even had a few tweaks that would help bring it up to more modern coding.  She didn’t mind paying him for it.  The program was too important to lose.

“So,” the British sounding doctor asked, “are the stories about Kirk all true?” he asked, taking a long sip of his drink.

“Depends on the story, but if a pretty lady was involved, than likely yes.”  She smiled.  These were the best of times.  The ones before her novelty wore off.

“And what about the relationship between him and Spock?” A Irish sounding gentleman that the others simply called ‘Chief’.

Her eyes flashed dangerously at him.  She had heard these rumors, of course.  But, they bothered her deeply.  Couldn’t people just be friends and comrades without sleeping together.  “I’ve never had a reason to believe they were true,” she answered.  The Chief was logical enough to let the subject drop, though not before sharing a shared eyebrow raise with the Science officer – Jadzia Dax.

“I remember one of the times there was more than one Kirk running around…” she started, trying to get the conversation back on a path she could control.

“More than one sounds like it would be a true problem.”  Dax said.

“Oh yes, but aside from the obvious outlandish, uncontrollable rule breaker that he was, we feared for the women.  Captain Kirk was in all ways a Captain, and he did not cross those borders – often.”  Her thoughts flew to David Marcus, the man’s son.  But, there were some things that deserved to be left in the past.  She hoped none of these folks were Betaziod.  She truly despised those people.  “But, the fact was that a Kirk without his morals, put the women crew members in _interesting_ predicaments. “

“Did anyone ever lose a hand by your hand?” Bashier asked.

She was surprised.  Very few people ever asked questions about her.  She was a negligible officer back then.  She had never felt as such, but the tale history told often left her out.   She smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners.  “Perhaps a finger or two,” she teased.  Truth be known, had someone tried such things with her, they would have lost more than a digit or two.  She was Vulcan after all.  She did have her own ways of defending herself

“McCoy,” Bashier, said with a gasp.  “Did you know him?”  There was an air of hero-worship in his voice. 

“Of course!  He was my best friend,” she admitted.  She smiled, lost in the memory of his smile.  A smile that she didn’t appreciate when she saw it every day.  But one that was rare, genuine, and often unappreciated from all around him.  He was as underappreciated as she, but at least he was remembered.

“Was he as ingenious as the history books state?” he followed up.

She thought about that.  Perhaps they all were, but she didn’t view them as being any different than she figured the officers assembled understood, appreciated, and respected each other.  “Perhaps, but what I recall about him is his wit.  He always had a sarcastic remark, or a truism that no one else wanted to say.  He spent a lot of time on the bridge.  I never understood what he was doing up there.  I would have thought he should stay in the med bay.”  She shrugged.

“What did you do?” a young, dark skinned man in civilian clothes asked.

“What?” she asked, totally thrown by the question.

“What did you do?  Were you an officer?” he clarified.

She took a deep breath in.  “I was a science officer.  Much like your own Dax, here.  But, um, different.”

The young woman with the spots that trailed down the side of her face shrugged.  “I don’t think it’s much different.  The job is the same, survey, analyze, etcetera.  Maybe the technology has changed, but the function is the same.”

“And I flirted with medicine.”

“A Vulcan that flirts?” the Chief asked.

She bounced her head back and forth a few times as she considered her words.  “Obviously, I don’t exactly embrace my Vulcan heritage.  But, what I mean to say…”

“… is that you and Dr. McCoy were an item?” the young man in civilian clothing finished for her.

A green flush rose to her cheeks.  “No.  My, um… my heart belonged to another.”

“Were you married?” Jadzia asked, the pitch of her voice lower, more focused than it had been only moments before.

“No,” she shook her head.  “No until many years later.  But, I was loyal to an idea… foolish thing really.”  She fidgeted uncomfortably.  “What I _meant_ was that I had assisted Dr. McCoy in the infirmary many times.  My interest in the history of human and Vulcan medicine had an interesting effect on understanding medicine – specifically non-regulation treatment of illnesses and minor injuries.”

“I’m sure I’d be interested in hearing about that.  I don’t spend much time in Ops.  I’d welcome your insight,” Bashier offered.

She smiled and nodded her thanks.  This had not been like any place else she had ever been stationed.  She was being valued as a person – not just for the memories she had.  She didn’t know how to handle the situation.   “Well, let’s just hope that your chief of security has the same interest.  I don’t think he was pleased to hear that Startfleet was stationing me here.”

It was the groups turn to fidget.  “Odo has a … difficult… time with change.  He’s very good, and he doesn’t like feeling as though he is being replaced,” the Chief explained. 

“I’m not here to replace him.  Merely give some of my expertise, some of my analytical assistance.  This is not my first hostile take over sort of war.  I’ve been through several.  Perhaps my insight is worth sharing.”

“I don’t think you’ll have a problem,” Dax said, mentally noting to talk to Odo herself and make things a little less abrasive than she was sure the Captain had made them when the formal introduction took place.  “Odo isn’t unreasonable.” Much.


	3. Security Chief Odo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Professor and the Constable get to know each other. 
> 
> A/N: Sorry it's short - I promise the rest is coming... I suddenly have more time.

“So, as I understand it, Starfleet has sent you to assist me with security during the upcoming conflict.”  Security Chief Odo stood behind his chair, both hands gripping the back.  He had already paced the length of his office, before she arrived.  In his time, he had many people in his office – some were colleagues he enjoyed, most were colleagues that he did not; some were people with complaints, others were people whom had done something wrong.  Cardassians, Klingons, Ferangi, Humans, Bajorians, Betazoids, and his fair share of Vulcans as well.  But, never had he had a smiling Vulcan in his office.  Her smile was the relaxed smile of a human trying to put someone at ease, but her eyes were observant and calm.  Her smile was human, but her glance was Vulcan.  The entire picture was very confusing indeed.

“I have every confidence that you are superb at your job and do not require my assistance in it.  I am here as a… consultant… someone with many years of experience working with people when hostile situations arise.”   Her words were fluid and well rehearsed. She had been extremely concerned about upsetting him.  His file was extensive and it was clear that he deserved every bit of pride that he felt in his position.  She didn’t want to overstep.   If she could say something intelligent to gain his respect, that would be something.  She looked forward to observational conversations, and maybe some light hearted remarks.  But, for now, she would have to be content with his discontent.

“Hm,” he said, his voice low and gravely.  He nodded at her, impudently.  “No offense, Lieutenant, but I have heard that before.”

She blinked and pulled her chin up slightly.  She had not been called Lieutenant in many years, and she had not been prepared to be addressed by her military rank.  Lieutenant Commander, if one was to be particular.  But, she usually went by Professor.

“Surprised that I knew?  I did my fair share of research on you, Lieutenant.”   He started to monologue about what he had learned about her, but she didn’t hear him.  She didn’t want to remember what she had given up.  She desperately didn’t want to remember what she had lost over time.  Professor was an easy title to mask who she had been and help her create the new her. 

“Security chief,” she interrupted him.  She realized, too late, how odd it sounded.  Most people just called him Odo, but she didn’t wish to be too informal.   She had heard the Captain refer to him as ‘constable’, but as he was the only one who did this, she didn’t want to overstep. 

He stopped and looked her over.  “Most people just call me Odo,” he corrected.

“Fine, Odo,” she said, her voice short, and eyes sharp.  “If you must refer to me by a title, please use Professor.  If you feel that’s not … military proper… then just call me by my first name – Veronica.”

“But, you have a perfectly legitimate rank,” he said, clearly puzzled by her request.  A few presses to the online screen and she was looking at her picture from when she had served onboard the Enterprise NCC-1701A.  “You earned it on -.”

“I know,” she said, cutting him off.  “But, I don’t go by it anymore.  And, safe some strange circumstance where I become the leader of a brigade, I don’t see a reason to use it.  If you continue through that file, you’ll see that I earned the rank of Professor approximately fifty years ago.”

An exaggerated nod, and then, “That is your prerogative, Professor,” Odo responded.  He looked her over slowly.  Dax had been right.  She was quite remarkable, and different than anyone else he had ever encountered in Starfleet. 

“Odo, I have no interest in taking your job,” she said, bluntly.  She felt far more vulnerable than she had expected.  She never thought someone would use her rank, not seriously.   In passing.  In conversation. But, not seriously – not again.  She couldn’t go through all that again.  “I understand the human condition quite well… I’ve seen a lot in my lifetime, and I have more than the average human’s lifespan of combat situations.  I know the way humans tend to respond to these things, and if that can help you do your job better, then I look forward to it.  If it does not, then I look forward to staying out of your way until they ship me back to Earth.”

“Ah…” he said, the sound drawn out.  “Well, I’m sure something can be worked out.  You’ll find that I do pride myself on being direct.  I’m not one for politics if it can be helped.”

She squinted at him.  “That must have been difficult when this was Terrok Nor.”

Arms crossed in front of him again.  “I did my job.”

She nodded.  “I’ve done jobs too, but nothing to that extreme.  I give you a lot of credit, sir… um, Odo.  You certainly have earned my respect.”  With that she got up.  “Morning report is at what time?”

“Seven.”

“I will see you then,” she said, making her way out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica sets up to have a holodeck program run with Quark.

Veronica pulled at the neckline of her uniform as she strolled purposefully across the Promanade. She had spent precious little time in her quarters, not yet wanting to be alone. There were so many ways to be alone on a starship, even more on a space station. Her skin prickled at the thought of spending countless hours alone. No, that would not do.  
Walking up to the bar known as Quarks she sided up to the bar. 

Green eyes looked over the two Ferangi behind the bar. They seemed to be the opposite of each other in every way. One was a skinny rail of a nervous man. Dressed in plain clothes, his hands nearly shook, as he worked competently behind the bar. The other man was a little more broad, and handled himself far more confidently. His clothes matched his boisterous nature, and she saw that he preferred to schmooze with the customers, while the other worked nervously behind him. 

“So, you must be the new science officer,” the more boisterous of the two said, coming up to her. “A professor from Starfleet may find this place a little dark, a little daunting. But, if there’s anything anything that you need, you just let me know and I’ll procure it for you – for a price.” He seemed friendly enough, if not a little over zealous. 

“Well actually there is,” she replied giving him a soft grin. She had made sure to style her hair so that her ears wouldn’t show. She didn’t need to explain herself right away. Over the years she had found that it was easier to let people get to know her and then find out that she was a Vulcan, rather than the other way around. “I’m looking to procure a holo-suite.”

Ignoring her outdated language, he replied enthusiastically, “Well that is something that I have! You’ll find that our holo-decks are the best in the quadrant. What kind of adventure do you need? Hiking to the top of Mt. Lenore on Twiddlemere? Or maybe a nice intimate gathering with your favorite authors? Or, I know… perhaps a relaxing mud bath in mud pools of Vulcan?” 

Her skin nearly ached with longing for those mud baths, but this was not the time. She needed to secure her nightly ritual and was prepared to pay just about any price to do it.   
“Well the mud bath does sound delightful, but I have my own program,” she said pulling out one of the copies of the program. “It’s not too terribly complex, and you’ll find that the station’s computer banks will likely have most of the information on hand. But, this is the program that it must run,” she said, holding his eye contact and leaving no room for   
error in her voice. 

“I like a woman who knows what she wants,” he replied. “How often do you want it to run?” he asked.

“Two hours post the end of my shift, every shift,” she explained clearly. “I will pay extra for you to find out that information.” He waved it off and gestured for her to continue. “I need the program to run from one to three hours every night. I understand that it cannot run for three hours every day, so I will allow you to set my schedule. But, it cannot run for less than one hour, nor more than three. Do I make myself clear?” 

He had been typing her needs into a datapad which he put on the bar and slid to her. “Crystal,” he responded. “But, that comes at a cost.” 

Looking down at the datapad, she was flooded with a wave of relief. This would cost her less than the private holo-suites that she had been using on Earth. With a nod of her head, she pushed her thumbprint into the payment area. 

“When would you like these to start?” he asked, leaning on the bar.

“Tomorrow,” she answered. “I’m going to need it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not forgotten this - in fact, I have stopped binge watching DS9 until I can work on it. I have several more chapters, but I don't know where this will go or if it will ever be more than a WiP


	5. Home in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica's Holodeck Program

Veronica had been quite unable to ignore the stares that she got as she walked through the corridors.  She had forgotten what it was like being looked at like she didn't belong.  People at Starfleet had gotten used to her.  Feeling her heart beat hard in her chest, she made the mental note to bring a bag and change in the holosuite from now on.  Never again would she allow herself to be made a fool of here again.  Not under her own power.  Not if she could help it.  

Plugging in the ready made program, she smiled as the doors opened.  The lounge was as beautiful as it had ever been.  Usually, she would join her friends on the bridge, or in the sick bay.  But, today was a special day.  The first program in a new suite, and they had a tradition to follow.  She missed the intimacy of the sage colored walls and the few tables.  As time went on, these placed lost their intimacy and became bigger and bigger.  The large size of Quarks made her uncomfortable.  Not only did she feel like a pawn in a game of 3D chess, but it was far too big, too loud, too much.  

"It appears the guest of honor has arrived," a familiar voice pointed out logically.  

A smile instantly bloomed on her face, as she came up to her old friend.  Younger than the last time she had seen him, less jaded.  Her version of Spock was quite young, but not so young that human emotions were a mystery to him.  Having never embraced them, this version wouldn't understand them.  But, he wouldn't comment on them beyond an eyebrow quirk of side statement. 

Coming up to the representation of her old friend, she threw her arms around him and held him close.  He didn't hug her back.  He never did. But, the feel of his body against hers, his slightly musky scent, it was familiar.  And she needed the familiar right now. 

"You always were one to hug him first, even though he would never hug back. Doesn't make a damn bit of sense to me."  

She let forth a small laugh, and nearly launched herself at McCoy.  "Doctor, I've missed you most," she admitted, when he put down the drink that he had been pouring.  She held him tightly, missing his friendship down to the very core of her being.  During her entire tenure onboard the Enterprise, he had been her closest friend.  His wit and sarcastic style suited her just fine.  Even in the years after the decommission of the Enterprise, they had stayed very close, especially as their friends started to scatter and disappear.  

He hugged her back, a strong hand moving up to sit in the middle of her shoulder blades.  "Now now, none of that.  This is a happy occasion.  You've been reassigned." 

She reluctantly let go.  "Oddly, yes.  To aid in security, of all things."  

Accepting the warm hug of Scotty as he said, "Well lass, you've always taken life as it comes.  You'll take this too."  He handed her a drink, and the three of them toasted.  As she felt the synthale go down, she missed having a real drink with Scotty.  But, it wasn't like it had been.  Real drinks were hard to come by anymore. 

"What do they feel that you have to offer?" Spock asked, as they moved to a table.  

"Analytical analysis," she responded, and nearly spit out her next sip at the look that Spock gave her which could only truly be described as incredulous.  "I know.  I was surprised too.  And, this," she plucked at her old blue uniform, "is not the color that I'll be wearing.  Gold for security now." 

"Security?  But, gold was command," Scotty proclaimed.

They had been over this countless times.  And each time he seemed more put out by the changes of color in the uniform than the last.

"Yes.  Then engineering and now security and engineering.  Look, I don't know.  I just wear it.  From when I hear, their current security chief is very good and has little interest in working with me."

"So you'll have to be compromising... charismatic," McCoy offered, a small smile play on his lips at the humor of it all. 

"Yes, and won't that be something?" she asked.  "Like I have anything to offer.  I truly believe I was brought here because the commander of the station used to be a student of mine."  She finished off her drink and let the doctor pour another for her. 

"Now that's not true, lass.  You have memories... so many of them.  Institutional memory is worth its weight in gold.  Now you remember that.  Don't let these new kids make you feel like you don't belong.  They're new to your world.  Your not a relic in theirs."

Giving Scotty a smile, she placed her hand on his.  "You always knew just what to say.  But, I feel a though my knowledge isn't even worth the credits they pay me.  I mean, I miss teaching already.  And what if I need to fight someone?  The constable doesn't like us using weapons?  I don't know if I even could physically restrain someone."  She shook her head.  She felt so old. 

"Then you'll fight them.  You always fought with your heart.  When the time comes, I have confidence that you'll stand among those that you've been chosen to work alongside."

All at the table looked at Spock in surprise.  Admitting to confidence was almost admitting to having feelings.  The three of the men started bantering on that point, and she watched them, enjoying the familiarity of feeling like she was home again.  

Meanwhile, she sat and contemplated the statement, and hoped that he was correct. 

 

 

 

 


	6. A Wish Too Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based during Season 1 episode, "If Wishes Were Horses". I make no money off of this and do not intend copyright infringement.

"He doesn't like me," Veronica complained, pushing her long curly hair behind her ear.  "He just snaps at me and dismisses me.  My entire shift is with someone who disregards me as easily as an undergraduate." She had gone to the holosuite after her shift, and gone straight to Dr. McCoy.  The man had been her most trusted friend for years.  And after a bad shift, one or the other could be found in the others quarters.  They just understood each other.  

"Sounds like you need to put your foot down. You need to tell him that you deserve respect," he said, coming to sit down and handing her a drink.  

"He doesn't just give respect, Leonard.  He ... you have to earn it.  I have no skills that will do that."

The older man looked at her dubiously.  "Veronica, think about that.  When we worked together, women were often something to be mocked, to be conquered.  But, you... you were respected by the senior crew."  

"I never became one," she said, sadly.

He shrugged.  "You never had to.  You were respected on your own merits at a time when women seldom were. Women belong now.  Be yourself - your  _real_ self, not the self you show people when you're trying to protect yourself." 

She did not reply.

"You know what I'm talking about.  You get quiet, nervous.  You are none of these things."

"I'm trying to stay out of his way!" she exclaimed.

"Stop trying to stay out of his way.  Be yourself, the leader - the kind woman - that I know you to be.  That you won over this crew with.  Make him trust you.  Don't give him an option for another opinion." 

After finishing her drink, she left for the promenade.  "Now, when he gives you a look of anything but acceptance, give him that Vulcan wilting glare you have," McCoy said, following her down the hall.  

Turning, shocked, she looked him over.  How was this possible?  "Excuse me."

McCoy stepped back.  "I won't get in the way. But, I know what you are capable of, and I won't let you do less." 

Just then, she saw Odo corralling a Corrilian wortbeast down the thruway.  "What in creation?" she exclaimed, coming up to him.  

"I don't know," Odo grunted at her.  "People's imaginations, apparently, are running away with them."

She fell into step with him, urging people to get out of the way as they moved.  She stole a glance towards where McCoy had last been, and felt saddened by the fact that she would not be able to keep him forever.  In fact, she wouldn't even be able to enjoy the time with him.  Rather, she had a job to do.  

Suddenly, the entire station rocked, as though it had been attacked.  She fell over, and closed her eyes as she hit the ground.  The beast disappeared as the lights went out.  She turned over quickly, forcing herself to sit up.  She watched as Odo contacted Ops and was prompted brushed off.

"Well how are we supposed to keep everything under control, when we don't even - " 

The station rocked again, and this time continued to shake.  She looked around as a red alert sounded.  Emergency doors started to seal off and without being told, she started the red alert procedures.  Corralling people into the safe zones, and ordering others back to their quarters, she felt like she had purpose again, and it felt good.  

Then, just as suddenly as it all began, the shaking stopped and the red alert ended.  She waited for further instructions, but none came.  She hated the mere size of the station, to not know what was going on at Ops, and yet having to follow procedures to keep the chaos in the station at a minimum.  As per protocol, she returned to the security office for a debriefing. 

"I don't know what to tell you," Odo said to the officers assembled.  "All I can say is that Captain Sisko has assured me that the danger has ended, and that things should start returning to normal."  She nodded, trying not to look saddened by that.  After all, she could visit her old friends whenever she wanted.  But, for just one moment, she was able to feel like it was all real, like they were together again.  But, there was no going back, and she knew it.  There was only going forward.

She hung around for a time, waiting until the other officers had left.  "Are you okay, Odo?" she asked, her voice showing a concern that she didn't often allow when she was so new to an assignment.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, his squinting eyes emphasizing the confusion at her request. 

"I don't know.  I don't know anything about your physiology.  I know we took a fall out there.  Are you hurt?" 

He huffed a chuckle.  "I don't get hurt the way humanoids do.  Your bodies are solid and so become wounded when they hit something harder.  Mine just molds to the thing I have hit." 

He held out his hand and slowly placed it on his desk.  Veronica watched as his hand became part of the desk.  Eyes widening, she looked up.  "That's fabulous!" she exclaimed, smiling at him.  "Can you do other things?  Transform into other things?" 

The gentleness that he had shown her only moments before disappeared completely.  "I am not a show to be watched.  Or something to do tricks!" he snapped.  

"I'm sorry," she said, realizing too late that she had overstepped a boundary that she had not known was there.  "I didn't mean to imply.  It's just so wonderful.  I love the different - those who don't quite fit in.  I understand what that is, you see.  A Vulcan who embraced emotions?  A woman science officer in Starfleet that wasn't a nurse... I've been the  _other_ myself a time or two.  It's nice to meet another."

"Well I don't know what you mean by the  _other_ , but I will tell you that I am not going to put up with you pointing out my differences.  You are dismissed." 

She felt the words as though he had struck her.  The same differences that she respected with interest, he did not seem to care for at all.  While she saw their differences as a way to get to know each other better, he saw them as walls keeping them apart.  This was going to be harder than she thought.  "Yes, sir," she said, and left. 

 

 


	7. Attentions of a Fine Young Man

Veronica sat at Quarks trying to disappear.  She knew from experience that to sit in her room all the time would just mean that she was alone all the time.  Being a social creature, she didn't  _like_ to be alone.  She was realizing that as the weeks were going by, she was losing some of the novelty of being the new person on the station.  Her past was becoming hers again as the others moved on. 

"You're not odd you know," a voice said from behind her.  

She turned, and regarded Odo seriously.  "I don't understand.  Why don't you have a seat and explain it to me."  She took a sip of her elderberry wine and, again, wished that it was real alcohol.  

Looking surprised at the invitation, Odo pause for a moment before joining her.  As he sat down, he repeated the statement. "You're not odd." 

She looked at him expectantly, completely unaware of what he could be talking about.  "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

He swayed his head back and forth for a moment, which she gave him willingly.  After all, her shift didn't start for another half an hour, and he was her boss besides.  "Last night, you had mentioned that you knew what it was like to be the 'other'.  I had never heard the expression, but I did a little research and it means the outsider, the odd.  You're not odd."

She laughed lightly.  "I certainly am.  I made no qualms about who I am, or how utterly odd it is."

"But, odd has a negative connotation.  I have had no experience with you that makes me think that your emotions are prohibitive for you.  In fact, you seem to have better control over them than most humanoids.  I assume it's your Vulcan nature.  But, showing them, that's part of how you control them isn't it?  It's easier to gauge what to do next when people respond to the emotion that you put out.  Isn't it?"

She regarded him respectfully, intense eyes meeting his own.  "That's not quite why I do it, but I drew the same conclusions many years ago.  Besides, even the great Professor Sarek used to use emotions when he taught non-Vulcan students at the academy.  The Vulcan Science Academy that is."

"Excuse me, Lieutenant," Dr. Bashier asked, coming up to the table.  "I don't mean to interrupt, but I have a question about what it was like working with Dr. McCoy.  Do you have  moment?" 

While she expected that this would take more than a moment, she smiled and offered him a seat.  

"I'd better be going anyway," Odo said, getting up from the table.  "I will see you on shift." 

Veronica nodded respectfully.  Turning her attention to the young doctor, she smiled widely at him.  He was handsome and energetic, which made her smile.  "Now what questions do you have?" she asked.

"I was reading a history of medicine book last night, and his name came up."

"I'm afraid I wasn't really aware of his theories or anything that he created," she lied easily.  She didn't recall all of the scientific conversations they had over the years, and didn't want to be made a fool of in conversation that she should have been able to hold her own in. 

Bashier shook his head.  "No, his notes can be read. But, you  _knew_ him.  What was he like?" 

She smiled and gave a small, "Hah.  He was sarcastic and bitter.  His always looked for the angle - why did people want things.  But, he was also intuitive and insightful.  He was the best sort of friend.  The kind that had your back, no matter what.  And would see you through to the end, even if you took the longest way around to get there." 

Coming out of a daydream she didn't realize she was in, she looked at Bashier, who was looking at her dreamily.  "What?" she asked. 

"It's just amazing.  You speak of him like ..."

"Like I knew him?  I did."

"But so much time has gone past and you still have so much respect for him.  That's a credit to you."  He paused before adding, "I would really like to get to know you better."

She was flattered, and her smile grew.  "I would like that," she said.  "I find you quite fascinating.  Graduated second in your class.  You got your choice of assignments and asked to be here.  What a fun challenge it must be - you must see every sort of injury and ailment from hundreds of different species.  And you meet that challenge, head on."  She shook her head.  "I'm in awe of you doctor."

"Julien, you can call me Julien," he said, blushing slightly at her words.  

"I intend to, but not today," she said, getting up from her seat. "I hope to see you soon, Julien.  Now excuse me, I have to get to security."

She had started walking away when she heard Dax start talking to Julien.  Taking a moment, she hung back to listen in.  

"Julien, why do you like her?" Dax asked.  

"She's interesting," answered brightly.  "She's smart and knows more about history than any book that I could ever read, or recording that I could ever watch."

"So, do you like her because of who she is or who she knew?" Dax challenged.

"Well I don't know.  Both I suppose," he stammered under her scrutiny.  

Veronica walked back up to the table, "Excuse me, Lieutenant, may I speak with you for a moment. I don't mean to interrupt but it cannot wait."

Both looked surprised at her intrusion.  "Certainly," Dax said getting up, and walking in step with Veronica.

"Now, Dax, I know that Julien has always held a candle for you, and I don't want to come between anything that may be lurking there."

"You wouldn't be," Dax stated, hands clasped firmly behind her back.

"Well then let me explain something.  You and I have both lived for a very long time and we know how impulsive young men can be." She gave Dax a wry smile, which Dax returned.  "So, it has been over a century since a young man took any interest in me.  Any at all, and it's rather flattering.  You and I both know it won't last long.  He'll find someone else, younger, prettier, more on his intellectual level who can capture and hold his attention - probably back to you in fact.  Please, let me enjoy this while it lasts."

Dax regarded Veronica seriously as they came up to Security.  "I do understand.  And I didn't mean to get in the way.  Enjoy him." 

Veronica rolled her eyes and went into work. 

 

 


	8. Dramatic Exit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the weird things (though not the weirdest) that I remember about this character was that she had served with the crew under Kirk as well as Picard. As it was common for the cast of ToS to cameo on TNG, it was fairly easy for my character to transcend the two shows. I'm not sure if I'm going to ever release all of her secrets, but I certainly won't do it at first blush. So if things are vague, it's because she was never very deeply created, and I'm trying to make a storyline out of one character that I supplanted into my favorite episodes for the entirety of my childhood and teenage years. 
> 
> Now, many years later I'm revisiting her. Feeling her out and testing the waters with her. She was in all ways my first original character.

Slowly, Veronica noticed that she started to fall into a nice rhythm with the crew of Deep Space Nine.  They didn't come together as naturally as she had with the crew of the Enterprise 1701, but they were starting to learn to work around each other.  Through various conversations with Julien, she had started to tap into her fascination with science and medicine.  She loved hearing him talk about new studies being done, and found herself smiling because she wanted to when he would send her a study that piqued his particular interest.  Happy that she had never actually gone into medicine, she enjoyed looking at it through the lens of the evolution of science.  

She smiled dimly as she got ready to meet Julien for coffee before her morning report with Odo.  She had gotten used to calling people by their correct titles, and figured out when first names could be used, although she still slipped up on that from time to time. Datapad in hand, she made her way to the infirmary.  She didn't know when the doctor slept exactly, but she was always amazed at how early he was awake. 

Except for today.  Slightly confused, she walked through the infirmary, giving a smile to the other medical professionals that were there.  She found her eye lingering a touch too long a their blue uniforms, wondering what it would feel like to wear the blue pantsuit, just once.  When she was certain that the doctor would not be in attendance for coffee, she went to Quarks.  

She smiled a bit when she saw a woman whom she had known when she did a short tenure on the USS Enterprise 1701-D under Captain Picard.  "Excuse me, Keiko.  Is this seat taken?"  She brushed her hair behind her ears, hoping that the pointy tipped ears and the smile would jog the other woman's memory.  It had been some years since they had seen each other. 

"Vicki?" she asked, surprise and confusion evident in her voice.  "V-Veronica?  Is that you?" 

Veronica smiled.  She had not been called Vicki since she had served on that Enterprise.  In fact, she had just about forgotten that she had once allowed people to be so familiar with her.  "Indeed.  I was stationed here about two weeks ago.  Apparently there had been some interesting experiences with the wormhole and Captain Sisko believes that I have some beneficial knowledge."  She remained standing next to the table, having not been invited to sit down yet.  She didn't blame the woman for the pause.  For one thing it was early in the morning, and it was apparent that the two of them had not had their morning wake-up beverage.  And, the other ... well the last time she had seen the woman had included quite the dramatic exit.  It was not her shiniest moment, but she had learned never to let her guard down that far again.  Ever.  To anyone.

"Well have a seat.  How have you been? How do you know the Captain?" Keiko asked with curious interest.  

Veronica had no idea how she had been able to keep her exuberance up even this early in the morning, but she was happy to have been received well. "Thank you," she said sitting down and placing an order for her morning drink.  "I've been well, thank you.  I've been teaching at the Academy since... well...  well since."  She gave the other woman a knowing look and was happy to see the same look shining back at here.  It was nice to not have to explain the more humiliating parts of ones past.  "I, um, I had the singular pleasure of being his instructor when he went through the Academy."

"Oh, so it's Starfleet Academy?" Keiko clarified. 

Veronica made a noise to the affirmative, and thanked the slumping Ferangi for her drink.  

"That's good.  That's good.  I'm teaching here too.  It's a lot of fun.  Maybe you could come in and teach a lesson on... inter-species relations?" she asked, taking a guess at what Veronica may have been teaching at the Academy.

Veronica gave a nervous laugh and shook her head a bit.  "Mostly the history of science.  Some medical history.  Electives really.  Nothing pertinent, but I think it's interesting at least."

"Could you do a history of infectious disease?  We don't have a lot of outbreaks here, oddly enough, but perhaps learning about how the evolution of the thought process worked on Earth could be an interesting subject." 

Veronica thought about the mass of information in that subject, but was loathe to turn away an offer to teach.  "Well, perhaps a few days, a few hours per day?  Like a visiting lecturer.  There is a lot of time to cover.  About a millennia." 

Keiko remained interested.  "We'll work it out," she said with a nod.  She took a sip of her beverage, and Veronica took the opportunity to ask something that had been weighing on her mind.

"How's your husband?  I've heard the most complimentary statements about the Chief of Operations, and I'm really happy for him.  But, I haven't see him myself to say hello." 

At that Keiko stiffened, giving the other woman an apologetic look.  "Well, the way you left the Enterprise, it really ... rubbed people the wrong way.  I don't think he has quite gotten over it." 

Her leaving had been public, and embarrassing, as her husband came in from parsecs away, interrupted a speech she was giving, and revealed that he would be divorcing her.  As a Vulcan this meant that there were some intricate mental connections to undo, and the whole situation was quite traumatic for her.  But, it had nothing in the galaxy to do with Miles O'Brian.  So, the thought that he had held a grudge against her all these years, and enough to avoid her at this posting was quite annoying to her.  "I understand.  I'll endeavor to stay out of his way," she said.  She took a longer drink of her beverage and tried to think of a way to clear out of the conversation. 

"Oh, I'm sure he'll get over it.  He just didn't have to deal with it because you were gone."

"And your child, Molly?"  She had recalled when the child had been born, having been a counselor on the Enterprise at the time.  She had been shocked when the Klingon who had delivered the baby had not confided in Deanna.  She was, after all, the primary counselor on board and one of his dearest friends.  But, instead, she had been chosen to help him deal with the empathetic feelings that he was not used to coping with.  It had ended in a bat'leth fight, which threw her clear off of her feet.  She hoped that he had never had to deliver another child.  But, she did not keep in touch with him, or anyone on the Enterprise D after her departure. 

"She's very good, thank you for asking."

An uncomfortable lull settled over the table and Veronica finished her drink.  "Well it was really nice to see you Keiko.  Send me information about teaching and I'll work my schedule around it."  She got up and gave her what she hoped was reassuring smile before heading directly to the security office. 


End file.
